Welcome to Bravo Communication!

LISTEN, THINK, SPEAK!

February 2010

Thoughts, tips and ideas to help you improve your thinking and communication skills.

We should all be committed to the continuous improvement of our interactions with others, so that we can enjoy the benefits of rewarding relationships which support our needs and expectations.  I hope that this newsletter will assist you in this endeavour.  Elizabeth

FEATURE:  Awareness:the first step to change.

It seems that some people know just the right thing to say at the right time... and believe it or not, you can too.  We don’t often think about improving our verbal communication, until things go wrong: we say the wrong thing (the words just slip out), or worse, we can’t think of anything to say.  These examples lead to negative self-talk such as:
    “I wish I hadn’t said that.”
“I should have told him..................”

There is no “magic bullet” program or course which can instantly improve your communication competency.  Rather improvement is a process which takes time and commitment to change, however the rewards can be life-changing.  Consider the following:
-    Having the confidence to give seminar presentations with less fear or anxiety,
-    Being able to have a conversation with your teenager,
-    Not feeling intimidated by the power seekers in your life,
-    Understanding and applying the techniques of a skilful negotiator,
-    Thinking and responding differently when that recurring argument crops up, so that it is finally resolved,
-    Being able to appropriately express your feelings.

All these instances (and more) may require a change of thinking.  It is the way we think that guides our listening and our speaking patterns and behaviours, reactions and actions. 

Step 1 to becoming an effective communicator is to become aware of your thinking and to monitor it.  Listen to yourself, and watch how others react to you when you speak.  Monitor and evaluate others you communicate with daily.  Learn to recognise the effective communicators in your network.  You may find it helpful to start a Learning Journal to write down your thoughts, feelings and questions as they arise.  You may also start to see patterns of specific events/people/places which influence your communication skill levels.  We’ve all experienced the “blithering idiot” (BI) syndrome in a stressful situation.  It would be helpful for you to identify your BI situations (where your communication is not optimal) so that you can develop some new strategies. 

Awareness is the first step to change. 
Love your Life!
Elizabeth.

Greetings and First Impressions:

How are you today? - Creating a positive first impression through greetings.

Respond to and give greetings with positive attitude and enthusiasm, regardless of how you feel.   When someone asks, “Hello there, how are you?”,  they may not really want to know how you are.  More likely is one or all of the following:
-    Checking you out,
-    Being polite,
-    Identifying how you feel towards them,
-    Determining whether or not you’re up for a conversation,
-    Determining whether or not you’re worth connecting to,
-    Creating a space for a conversation. 

Our response will very often determine the flow of the ensuing conversation.  And of course, it is often not what we say, but the way we say it.  It is perfectly acceptable to respond with something non-committal, such as “I’m fine thank you.”, but always remember it is best to end with a question to keep the conversation space open, “I’m fine thank you, how are you?”   Check that your body language is showing attention and presenting as open, by making eye contact, turning your body towards the speaker, smiling, and using an enthusiastic and pleasant vocal tone. 

A positive image is created and built through our interactions with others.  Remember that first impressions DO count.  We should aim to project a positive image at all times, especially when greeting people (regardless of how we really feel). 

So, if you want to create a positive image, always respond to, and give greetings with a positive attitude and enthusiasm.  You will know when someone is genuinely interested in your health and state of well-being, so save that for when you get to know them better.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Anonymous

YOUR SAY

We love to hear from you.  If you have a question, a tip or a story for  “Listen, Think, Speak”, put it in an email to enquiries@bravocommunication.com.au

I so agree with you Suzie, this is a great quote, and so relevant for when we don’t communicate as effectively as we would like:

“One of the very worst things we can do is to get angry at ourselves.  Anger only locks us more rigidly into our patterns.”  (Dyer)